It’s so ridiculously hard to move on from The Fault in Our Stars. I feel like I might break down at any moment and I just stalked TFIOS tag and I nearly cried at every quote but I didn’t. I just made this weird yelping noise, which, I tell you, made people in the vicinity turn around and look at me while I tried to contain my tears. But it’s okay. Since I’m in my house and my family have always seen me doing this, especially at those times when a scene or news of the Hunger Games was released. My eyes are now very puffy/swollen. More swollen than it already is, anyway.
Last night I think I might have had an allergic reaction or something. My eye was incredibly itchy and any itching done, even when I very nearly ripped my eye out (Kidding), did not relieve me of my uncomfortable situation, which then resulted to my eye being swollen, watery and red. I was in a mood to read something and even though I haven’t finished Lord of the Flies yet (I CAN’T FINISH IT. It’s not my book. I can’t with that book. I have such a hard time reading further because I feel like I can’t relate to it. It takes me too much effort than is usual to read it and I would like to read a book where I just move forward, without breaks), I decided to read a new one. I was planning to read 1984 by George Orwell. But I changed my mind and picked The Fault in Our Stars. Even when my eye was being stupid and I constantly had to wipe my eye so I could see properly, I still continued on and read. Not only was reading it quite tiring because of my stupid eye but it further intensified because I kept crying and sobbing very loudly. I guess it was a good idea I read it before sunrise, when everybody is asleep. I don’t know what I would do if somebody even saw me cry that much.
Anyway, up until now my eye is still pretty swollen. I don’t know if it’s because I pretty much cried the whole morning or because of the allergic reaction or whatever.
I have a feeling today is not my day. I also just had a stomach ache as well. All those times of not eating breakfast and lunch has now come to haunt me and punish me for never satisfying my stomach with food.
But like Augustus Waters said, Pain demands to be felt
I think, the only way we can notice, at least with me, is when we’re in pain and we see all these beautiful things around us and we come to realize how the world is truly. When we’re happy, we ignore the world and live out our fantasies and wishes. Do you think that? So, maybe now that I’ve felt the pain of that stupid stomach ache I might eat breakfast and lunch now instead of sleeping.
Also, pain is such an overwhelming emotion, which is pain’s way of demanding to be felt. And…
WHAT AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT? Sorry. Just random thoughts I had.